Give Yourself Permission to Feel.
Because of our own self-judgment, we sometimes don’t give ourselves permission to feel… especially certain emotions. As human beings, we tend to have a hierarchy of emotions — we may like to feel the “good” ones (happiness, joy, enthusiasm) and not like the “bad” ones (anger, fear, pain, etc.) However, “all things have a purpose under heaven”. No matter whether we like them at the moment or not, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the awareness to recognize the emotions that appear to be a burden to us ARE ACTUALLY OUR BLESSING. The blessing of our emotions is to let us know we are taking a human victim perspective into our current situation.
This viewpoint will be based on the suffering of want, guilt, and shame. The feelings “we don’t like” are based on the belief that what we are currently experiencing is somehow ‘bad” or “wrong”. This belief in right/wrong and good/bad creates a pattern of upset. This pattern of upset may have been ingrained in us and in our lineage for generations. When we avoid, suppress, or make wrong these “negative” emotions, we increase their power and diminish our own strength of conscious creation.
On some level, these perceived negative emotions may have a seductive allure to them. For instance, complaining about some level has helped us fit into our family or society. You may have noticed that people will go as far as to compete with each other in how bad their lives or situations are. The more we speak complaints, the more the pattern/habit becomes ingrained in our cellular chemistry and neurological pathways. Since we are always energetically creating what we feel, our words and feelings become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It takes courage to feel what we feel without judgment and learn all we can about the pattern of where it came from. It takes conscious awareness and commitment to find and weed out the pattern. It requires vigilance to find out everything there is to know about what you are feeling and reverse the curse of the pattern. It requires being able to FEEL the cost of the pattern. When you can, there is a great reward in your awareness.
What happens when you can make it okay and love whatever mess you have in your life and all the guilt, shame, anger, fear, and hate. What happens when you can simply make all those feelings okay? This is the first step in true Self Mastery. All human emotions have great value and benefit if we are willing to truly FEEL them. Giving ourselves permission to feel what we’re feeling is essential in our ability to honor ourselves and move through our emotions in a way that serves us, our relationships, our life, and our world.
The truth is, that you can “experience” an emotion WITHOUT transforming it and therefore, it can stay “stuck” in the body until the next time the person is “triggered. People can “sense” an emotion WITHOUT REALLY FEELING it. For instance, someone may sense fear and not like it, so they try to avoid feeling fear. An emotion is stuck energy until it is touched and felt FULLY. Feeling is transformative and when we feel, we move stuck energy and that energy can be freed up to be used as a strength. When we touch and feel our feelings with love, they turn into our TRUE POWER.
This happens when we can slow down, stay, touch, breathe and LOVE what we are feeling. In order to actually transform an emotion back into the powerful and positive energy that is contained with the emotion, we must be able to have the courage to FEEL. We must be able to love everything that we believe to be unlovable about ourselves and others. When we feel, we uncover the messages and divine information stored in our emotions and in our bodies. Emotions transmute into great blessings for those that are willing to really FEEL.
Remember our emotional body or “feeling world” is at the level of a small child. Slow down and feel. What would you do for a small child that was feeling sadness, anger, or pain? You would be there for them, hug them, hold them and tell them it was okay. That is what YOU owe YOU.
It may be challenging at first to feel your feelings when you have learned to repress or avoid what you feel. It may even be challenging to feel because you believe you shouldn’t feel a certain way. Instead, slow down and notice what you are feeling. Pinpoint exactly what you feel—fear, anger, sadness, shame, guilt —notice what you feel without judgment.
Anytime you feel something uncomfortable that you’d rather avoid, put a magnifying glass on it and ask yourself, “When is the first time I felt this way?” You may immediately have a memory. Can you bring love to this memory? Can you see the ways in which this feeling has played out in your life? What would you do for a small child that went through the same experiences and had the same feelings? You can soothe yourself and find your own “feeling world”. No one else creates what we feel or perceive, only we can do that. And we are the only ones that can find our way back home to ourselves.
When you’re in the throes of overwhelming emotion, you’re unable to think straight and truly feel. You get lost in the pattern of the upset. Choose to pause, slow down and FEEL what it is you are feeling. Let whatever you feel be okay. Even if it is anger or sadness, let it be okay. Feel your feelings as though you were smelling a rose. It may feel unnatural at first to feel your feelings but soon you will begin to experience ease and inner security. The only way to have real inner security is to find your truest feelings. Be willing to go deep. Be willing to look inside yourself.
What you are willing to look at, will set you free.
What you are unwilling to look at, or what you are unwilling to feel can create self sabotage if you let it.
Give yourself permission to FEEL.